#they are trying so so hard to make reddit a social media site
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everyone calling reddit social media is wrong
it's a forum and message board platform not social media at least not in the same vain as other social media sites it doesn't work like twitter or instagram or tiktok
and I think this is why everyone on tumblr is more accepting of their refugees and not twitters (besides the twitter refugees bringing old discourse back)
because tumblr is also not what social media is thought of nowadays it's a blogging platform. both tumblr and reddit are similar in that they both reflect the internet of old, when forums and blogs and personal websites were more popular, a time when you didn't post about every little thing in your life, when you could be anonymous
and no matter how hard the ceos or the staff of either websites may try they can never fully transform into the next twitter or whatever without fundamentally changing what these websites are. which would be a death sentence
people aren't coming to these websites for social media, they're coming for the community, for the uniqueness, for the long discussions they can have without a character limit, for information, for anonymity. to browse the internet without feeling pressured into posting perfectly fake photos and stories about your life in a desperate attempt for likes and attention
#they are trying so so hard to make reddit a social media site#they're just gonna end up killing it#reddit blackout#reddit#196#tumblr#internet
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On Outrage Marketing and How To Stop It (ATLA Live Action)
I’m sure we have all noticed an uptick of aggression and frustration against fellow fans on this and other social media sites.
Depending on your perspective, you may think that other fans are being overly critical and hysterical or complaining just to complain.
Alternatively, you may believe that other fans have descended into toxic positivity and are dead set on silencing all discussion and dissent, even if it’s the slightest bit critical or questioning.
The reality is: both are true and false.
This is outrage marketing.
As much as we can dunk on Netflix for their past decisions, they’re not idiots. This isn’t a case of the actors and director not knowing when to shut their mouths. These media outlets are not doing hard journalism and bringing us the facts: this is sponsored content. The studio is PAYING to put these stories out there.
Why? And why so close to release?
Exactly for the reasons you’re seeing: to make us fight publicly on social media.
Look at it this way. How long did it take for the trailer hype to die down and for it to stop trending everywhere? A week?
Meanwhile, how much longer can outrage carry hype and word of mouth? For months or even YEARS. All the outrage clickbait we have seen in the past with Disney products especially (Star Wars, Marvel) is intentional outrage marketing. It keeps people talking, which keeps the content trending, which keeps spreading the word and building hype in a time where content is myriad and every IP needs to compete to keep your attention.
Basically it works like this:
Group of fans #1 are fed these interviews by the algorithm and make criticisms or express concerns.
Group of fans #2 are fed the most exaggerated or hyperventilating takes from the first group to create the illusion of irrationality.
Group #2 decries the “hysterical” fans and lump every bit of criticism into this, silencing dissent.
Group #1 feels censored and attacked which makes them even more aggressive in their criticisms.
Rinse and repeat. Bots can also be used to help foster this hostile environment. Reddit and Twitter are known to be infested with fake bot accounted for this reason.
Meanwhile, the much larger group of audience members just sees ATLA is trending and there’s a lot of buzz and tons of pictures that are aesthetically interesting so they are interested in the show.
So how do we stop it?
By no longer making the repeated posts complaining about other fan reactions, and ignoring them when you do see them.
Instead, engage civilly with your fellow fans. Be curious. Try to understand their actual perspective before you attack. You can disagree without making a caricature of the opposition and interpreting them in the most uncharitable way possible.
This will produce more nuanced discussions and allow people to vent their concerns as well as share their excitement in a way less hostile or censored environment.
Thank you to all who took the time to read this. I love ATLA and I love this fandom.
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hi hi. i saw you answer that ask about finding places to be social without alcohol and i figured i'd ask something as well. feel free to ignore if it's a dumb question, but i was wondering if you have advice for finding friends/a support group in general? specifically as someone who maybe doesn't have much money to spare most of the time?
the last time i went to a meetup i felt like i couldn't really connect to anyone. they were all talking about having jobs and houses and i just spend a lot of my time on the computer. but it hurts to see others with deep connections with people while i'm just floating around on my own. sorry if this sounds trauma dumpy. >_<
good question!
socializing is hard for everyone in the way we've structured society right now, so you're not alone. most people do not get a consistent way to socialize with others and it's hard to be able to frequent a place enough to start to get to know anyone. it's also very hard to tell what spaces and businesses are queer friendly and which ones are not
i have a small number of suggestions and i'm open to whoever wants to participate adding on. i've found that libraries have tons of groups for things that you'd never expect like DnD nights, esports/fighting game tournaments, movie viewings, Lego clubs, group meetings for certain programs in your city including activist groups, book clubs, and literally so much more. they also tend to have posters and information about fun things going on in your area such as concerts, cultural events and holidays, performances, live events, and queer locations and spaces in town
a good way to get started with this kind of thing is examining your personal hobbies and seeing if you can look up groups on social media sites such as facebook, instagram and reddit to see if you can find groups and postings about things going on in your area. if you're able to frequent an event that's even better because people will get to know you. you don't have to be a social butterfly to make friends, often times going to the same event multiple times can start a friendship
queer groups can be found on social media as long as they're safe to operate in your area. there will be a lot of alcohol at bars and clubs but often times you can find more casual spaces that host queer events like art galleries/shop, coffee shops, ice cream shops, any type of small, queer owned business. sometimes people will rent out parking lots or other spaces to create a sober space for all ages events. it will depend on how safe this is in your area. you will usually be able to find out about this on instagram or facebook, it's best to try to search for "LGBT (events, etc.)" and go from there
otherwise you can find meetups for gamers, sports fans, writers, artists, musicians, literally whatever hobbies you're in to. you can just attend certain events and not really participate, if you want to just be in a social space around other people. easing yourself into socializing works best. clubs are really for people who are highly social and can adapt to a fast paced environment. many people aren't into that and that's alright
if anyone else has any advice feel free to chip in, i wish you the best of luck, take care for now, stay safe out there
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Figuring Tumblr out
Slowly piecing together how to use this site- everytime I pick up a new social media site, there's always this huge learning curve. There's the obvious things, like actually using the platform itself, but that pales before the far larger task of coming to understand the culture, the social mores, and the necessary history of a platform.
In a very real sense, social media platforms are places. Not in the shallow sense of a physical location, but in the imbued meaning granted by people occupying it, living in it, making it their own. This is hardly a novel observation, of course, but I think it's an important one in understanding the lifecycle of social media sites. When a company begins trying to seize the imbued meaning of place granted by their users, tries to control it too much for their own financial reward, when they engage in the process dubbed enshittification by Cory Doctorow, it triggers a collapse that reminds me of gentrification to a remarkable degree. And that's happening on Reddit and Twitter right now. It's what happened to Facebook a while ago, and why Facebook feels like a ghost town to me anymore.
Tumblr- at least to someone whose primary experience with the site comes from screenshots posted on the other big social media sites- feels different than that. It feels like a neighborhood full of weirdos who have collectively said "fuck you" to gentrification, and have dug in so hard and for so long that the company has half given up on being anything but a home for weirdos. And, as a weirdo, I love that vibe.
Do I think Tumblr will last forever? Probably not. Late stage capitalism is a hell of a drug, and I'm convinced that every for-profit social media site will rip itself apart via enshittification someday. But Tumblr, at least to a new user like myself, seems like a place that will stick around for at least a few more years, will outlast the collapse of the other giants. And even if it does follow Twitter and Reddit down the path of collapse, towards the graveyard of MySpace, Xanga, Vine, and a thousand other social media sites...
Ephemeral things can be wonderful too. I'm not looking for permanence, just a place to hang out with other weirdos for a while.
As soon as I figure out how this place works, at least, hah. Pretty overwhelming right now.
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do you have any tips for making n$fw content? probably specifically audios tbh. i want to get into it but i don’t even know where to start and it’s hard to search for tips and and stuff bc the site blocks searches.
oo okay so this of course is just my personal experiences and thoughts and all that. and i don't know if i can give the best advice but i will say what i can.
in my opinion there's sort of three types of n-sfw audio creators. i would think about which one of these types of audios you want to make or what platforms you want to use, but there's nothing saying you can't do multiple of these.
there's people who make regular audio p0rn which is real recordings of them actually participating in sexual acts, whether alone or with others, usually these are posted on reddit and places like p0rnhub. essentially regular video p0rn but audio only.
scripted and improvised audio content that are made up scenarios being acted out and not actually happening, like the kind found on r/gonewildaudio (shoutout to my favourite inactive audio creator who i hope is doing well u/msa_andeh, he is the reason i got into making audios, seriously go to his reddit or soundgasm). i crosspost all my public n-sfw audios on this subreddit, and where relevant also to r/GoneWildAudioGay and r/GoneWildAudioTrans.
asmr voice actor youtubers who make sfw content on their youtube but nsfw exclusive n-sfw content on their patreons, whether this be original scenarios, original characters or fandom characters. this is the type of content i make and so do creators like CarlinAudios, YuuriVoice, Dark & Twisted Whispers, Kink Radio, and more.
so firstly if you're trying to learn about n-sfw audios you need to knwo about r/gonewildaudio. it's a sub reddit just for posting scripts and audios of n-sfw audios. i assume you've seen the tags i use in my audios, the ones in the square brackets like [M4M] [Comfort] [Praise], well these are using r/gonewildaudios tagging system. gwa is also how i discovered soundgasm as an audio hosting site that allows n-sfw audios to be posted to it. this subreddit contains anything from someone recording themselves getting off, to scripted fantasy audios about knights and kings, to 'boyfriend helps you relax'. anything and everything n-sfw audio related. there are writers who post their scripts on there and the purposes is for people to 'script fill'. a script fill post is where a person on there reads off and acts out one of the scripts. so if you do want to get into n-sfw voice acting but are struggling to write or come up with ideas, you could start out by trying out script fills but make sure to abide by the the subreddits tagging system, and as with most subreddits its no self-promo policy (which makes reddit a hard place to promote your other social medias or patreon on).
there are also a couple more subreddits for the same type of content but more specific, there's r/GoneWildAudioGay for M4M n-sfw audios (male 4 male, and yes this includes trans and cis men), and r/GoneWildAudioTrans for any n-sfw and sfw audios where the listener is trans (which means any identity under the trans umbrella, eg trans men, trans women, non-binary, genderfluid, etc).
but also wait there's more. there is g/GWABackstage which is another subreddit for n-sfw audio and script creators to share other projects unrelated to n-sfw audios but also for asking questions about how to make audios, tips, feedback, how to post audios online, how to make sfx, what microphone to use, anything and everything you might have questions for! there's also r/GWAScriptGuild for script writers to share their work, ask for feedback, ask questions, advice, etc.
if you want to post audios publicly you can here on tumblr put there is a size limit on audio files that i quickly discovered that made my audios compressed so badly they were inaudible and that's why i stopped putting the audios directly on here and instead just embed the youtube videos. but if you want a proper n-sfw audio hosting site there is soundgasm (which i use) and also erocast. there might be more, but those are the ones i know. some people also just use p0rnhub to post the audio as a video with either no visuals or just one picture the entire video.
if you are wanting to make money out of doing n-sfw audios the only way i know is by putting stuff behind patreon. 237 out of my 288 patrons are part of the n-sfw audio tier. that is the majority of my income at the moment. if i posted n-sfw content publicly more often or had all those patreon exclusive audios public i wouldn't be making a living. though i don't know if it's possible to use something 0nlyfans or fan$ly instead as i don't know if they allow you to make audio posts. i know that ko-fi doesn't allow audios posts, you'd have to post them as videos. of course you an always take commissions as well, but you have to be the one to market yourself and try and reach people who are interested in custom n-sfw audios.
i guess basically my advice has been don't search on tumblr, go to reddit. that's not saying you can't post your audios on tumblr, you can, hell i started by posting my things on tumblr. and there's a different in how you'll grow and what audience you attract depending on whether you want to do original p0rn audios in which case you might want to use reddit and 0nlyfans, or if you want to make fandom audios in which case well what better place can you find fandoms and people in love with fictional characters than tumblr (don't be offended guys, this is a self call out)
i don't know what else to say uhhhh. i hope that helpsss. if you have any more specific questions you can shoot them my way and i'll try to answer and if i can't maybe try the r/GWABackstage subreddit
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In Memoriam of Social Media
Social media is dead. At least in the way we used to know it. Social media used to be an exciting idea. Using the internet to easily and conveniently connect with other people around the world. Keeping in touch with family. Sharing with friends. Meeting entirely new people. A brand new way to connect online beyond the forums and instant messaging chatrooms of old. And we quickly saw a social media boom of platforms throwing their hat in the ring with their own spin on the concept. MySpace. Facebook. Instagram. Twitter. YouTube. Twitch. Reddit. Vine. And many more! Of course, we're on Tumblr right now, aren't we? And each one had a bit of its own identity. Photos. Videos. Streaming. Blogging. Chatting. You picked your platform based on what you wanted to do and/or see. If only we knew how good we had it.
Soon these platforms began to become so successful that making an appealing space for its users fell into a lower priority. The new bottom line? Profit. Your average user isn't exactly looking for ads, subscriptions, premium features locked behind paywalls, and overall site construction that is built to promote the largest money-makers over functionality and the content we signed up to see. Sadly, it has only gotten worse with the way users have adopted the new business-like view of running their pages as well.
These days you'll be fighting ever-changing algorithms simple to be seen by other human beings just looking to connect. When you DO get seen or see something you like, it's most likely that you'll be engaging with influencers that are more concerned about their analytics than a real conversation. I understand you can't respond to 100 comments in full conversations daily, but when it's so hard to find another genuine person on such large platforms... it's a problem. It has become parasocial media at best and anti-social media at worst.
To make matters even more grim, it seems like there's not much in the realm of alternatives. As the big names lose their identity by combining text, photos, videos, messaging, and streaming all into every single platform, the more specialized competition is too small to pick up the slack yet. You can't go to an alternative and expect anywhere near the level of users to interact with. There's just no room for them. The most positive I can be about this situation is to say... pick your poison.
If you're trying to grow, make money, get famous, promote... then you're pretty stuck with the biggest platforms, for better and for worse. In sickness and in wealth. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. BUT there IS another way.
Find those smaller, niche platforms that suit you and your interests. Give them a chance. Find your flavor of social media that's more than just a reskin of the old giants. Sure, you'll see a lot of the same faces around a lot. The numbers will probably never be amazing at least for years to come. I don't think we'll have a golden age of social media again at this point. But you CAN have a great time just going back to talking with real people. No ads or algorithms or influencer bullshit. Just genuine connections with people online. For a lot of people, including myself, that's all we really want. Those places exist. It's possible. You just have to look a little to find them.
Feel free to comment or message me if you have lesser-known platform suggestions for people to check out. Personally I've been using FUZE a lot for gaming content. Or if you just want to talk on here, that's cool too.
F
#in memoriam of social media#in memoriam#social media#parasocial media#anti social media#instagram#twitter#tumblr#facebook#myspace#youtube#twitch#tiktok#reddit#parasocial#antisocial#influencer#think piece#samlilly#samuellilly#samuelryanlilly#sam lilly#samuel lilly#samuel ryan lilly#selfie
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a stats report on the rk ashwick books (as of April 2023)
some folks responded positively to the idea of seeing data on how my books have done (for indie author research and benchmark purposes), so here you go!
I'll put everything under the cut:
📚 What do I write?
Cozy fantasy romance under the pen name R.K. Ashwick.
📚 Why do I write?
Because I love it. I have a full-time job that isn't related to writing, so I write in my spare time. I should also note that I do not have dependents, am not a caregiver, and I do have anxiety and ADHD. I am not certain that I want to be a full-time writer, given the financial instability and the joy it could take away from writing. However, I want my books to be and perform the best they can, so I try to be professional about my product and methods.
(To me, this is all important context to be up-front about. Finances, family size, and health all have a huge impact on an author's goals and strategies.)
📚 How many books do I have out?
The Stray Spirit: released August 2022. First in a planned trilogy.
A Rival Most Vial: released March 2023. First in a planned trilogy.
📚 Online Visibility
Here's what I have going on:
Paid:
Website (requires $ for hosting)
BookFunnel for newsletter promos, sales promos, and ARC distribution (site requires $ to join)
Unpaid:
Newsletter (currently managing on free version of Mailerlite, since I'm under 1000 followers)
Facebook page (not consistently maintained, mostly for SEO)
Instagram, posting 5x/wk
TikTok, posting 5k/wk
Tumblr- hi!
using things like LibraryThing, GoodReads forums, Reddit, and FB pages to find more ARC readers
I was doing Amazon ads, but recently nixed them, as I didn't feel they were really getting me anything. I'll likely return to them once I have more books out.
A Note on Follower Count: I have, like 10 FB followers, 400-ish Insta followers, 1500 TikTok folders, and almost 1600 Tumblr followers. I've been on Tumblr the longest and TikTok second longest. TikTok had the fastest growth, Insta the slowest. However, general advice is that engagement rate is more important than follower count. I'll be real, I'm not doing that hot on that front. I'll consistently get around 20 likes on Insta posts and TikTok often caps my video views at around 200 or 300. The videos that do the best on TT often aren't the ones related to my books. Fun times.
A Note on Newsletter Stats: I have a pretty consistent open rate of 25-30%, which I think is okay. I'd like for it to be closer to 40%. (It's also hard to actually track open rates, so that number isn't entirely reliable.)
A Note on ARC Reader Stats: I got 100 readers for TSS and almost 200 for ARMV. This resulted in a ballpark count of 20 reviews for TSS and 30 reviews for ARMV around release time.
📚 Other Marketing Strategies
What you see above under Visibility is my ongoing work. I also do more limited-run strategies, like:
occasional free book giveaways on social media
pre-order gifts for my book
I sent out around 20 pre-order gift envelopes for TSS and 45 for ARMV. I operate the pre-order gifts at a loss, but I really enjoy doing it, so I'm okay with it. I also have lots of leftover stickers and bookmarks that I can bundle with giveaways.
📚 Distribution
I distribute wide through:
Amazon: both ebook and paperback
IngramSpark: paperback only
Draft2Digital: ebook only
📚 Orders & Royalties
So, what did all this work and shennanery get me?
From July 2022-April 2023 (10 months):
Books Sold: 575
Total Royalties, paid and unpaid: $1543.49 ($2.68 per book)
📚 Is that good or bad?
I have no idea!! And I think in the end, it all depends on your goals.
If my goal was to make a living: welp, it's def not enough.
If my goal was to break even: between website set up, DBA set up, cover cost, editing cost, illustrator cost: nah. I'd have to make about $4,000 more to safely say I've broken even.
If my goal was to get strangers, and not just family and friends, to read my books: oh hey, I did that!!
I hope this information helps you set a goal, so you're not mentally wandering around like I am.
📚 Other Notes
A big factor in having a financially successful indie book is fitting genre conventions in your chosen subgenre, or 'writing to market.' I will say that A Rival Most Vial is more written to market than The Stray Spirit is. The Stray Spirit sort of straddles cozy, historical, and academic fantasy without actually leaning in to any of those things, so it's a little harder to market.
I also spent a lot on cover, editing, and illustration. That makes it harder to be a financially viable business, but it's what I wanted to do to have a strong finished product. I am lucky in that my full-time job can cover these expenses.
I'm not very good at social media. I've never had anything go viral on any of the sites.
The most rewarding part of all this is seeing how people react to the book: reviews, videos where they're almost crying over the book, podcast invitations, and [something a bit bigger than I'll announce in the summer.] At the end of the day, if I have a small group of buyers who are vocal in engaging with my books, that's far more rewarding than a large group of buyers who don't engage.
📚 Parting Thoughts
I'm happy to talk about any and all aspects of my self-publishing experience. If you have more questions or want more details, feel free to reply, send an ask, or DM me!
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Saw you mention ADHD inattentive? And I had not heard the specific kind of adhd but what you described sounds true to me (also can’t do a diagnosis right now). But I’d consider myself a very creative person. I want to create freely like I did as a child, improve, and excel but I struggle with the motivation. I end up scrolling on my phone or watching tv. How do you manage that or deal with it without being hard on yourself? Thank you for your time!
So I've been looking into ADHD more seriously in the past three years. I've had bouts of anhedonia and the most recent one last for two years and it got to the point where I couldn't even watch or read two-seconds of anything without it feeling utterly painful and I had no idea what the hell that was about. But I at least had the awareness after it happened often enough that my attention span was fucked and I genuinely didn't seen to latch onto or enjoy anything anymore and I thought 'Wow, guess this is adulthood for me, sheesh'.
I also thought back to myself as kid growing up, some things I knew I did and some things I did that had been told me. Apparently my dad thought I might be autistic when I was 4, but never followed up on that. Nobody cared that I was a good test taker but rarely ever turned in homework. Oh, ooh, she must just not care, wah. My mom told me stories as an infant that align with me being an HSP baby, and I def have Rejection Dysphoria which is kinda getting better but sometimes still results in petty Splitting spirals. 😅
Sorry, none of this has to do with your question but maybe it'll useful to someone else. 😅
So the funny thing is, I am not addicted to social media. 😭 I barely use it. So I don't have anything personal I provide about that, but you could try going minimal on your phone. Just dummy the hell out of it. Remove apps, etc. I know companies be breaking how their shit works on mobile browser, at least for me, the site gets app-blocked basically. "Open in App", "Get our App", ugh. 🙄😮💨 But when you make distractions harder to get to, you can readjust your reliance on it. Backtracking slightly, I used this method to cut off my 'addiction' to Reddit. I still rly don't get hooked on socmed otherwise. 🤔 I always bookmark stuff or keep the tabs open, and say I'll get to it later. 😅 I'm always accruing things for myself or some creative endeavor. I kinda relate to Markiplier in that way, that the only time he hangs with his friends or makes friends is if it's during a project. His whole life rotates around the next idea and the next idea. 😅 Forgive me, I'm rambling quite a bit.
Tldr; make distractions more inconvenient, lol.
If you feel like your symptoms are unmanageable, their could be other disorders that you need to take care of. Some ADHD-havers need stimulants and others need anti-depressants.
I'm a stimulant-type. I started taking a $30 B-complex supplement when I noticed that Monster energy made me feel better. I get high caffeine blend plus 2 shots of espresso from my preferred gas station. As a female, I had to pay attention to my PMS symptoms making me sleepier than ever. Some shit got out of balance and I was a goner for the following two weeks.
Your next question about not beating yourself up. My suggestion is trying meditation, maybe getting an ONO roller or something like it, something to make your hands busy when you're trying to devote your attention to something. Just focus on clearing away the background processes of anxiety in your internal task manager and try to visualize how you'll feel when you get that thing done.
Like, I still procrastinate on folding the laundry. It'll literally take me 20 mins or less and I can watch videos while I do it, but I just don't for rly no good reason. 😅 But it's better to feel guilty while doing the thing you've been avoiding, then feeling better after becuz it's done. And then maybe the guilt lessens becuz you've created this routine and positive association, 'Hey, I can do this thing. Hey, this actually takes no time at all.' You know?
I'm no expert and everyone's experience is different. But I recommend looking into it more for yourself. The HowToADHD channel is a pretty good one to start with. They are like the definitive channel for sure. I know that Dr. K put out smthn a couple years ago as well, but all in all, you can only do your best and try to retrain how you do things. There's stuff too like the Pomodoro Effect... 🤔 Just try to find what works for you! Even rn I'm so distracted with writing that I haven't been drawing at all, so I'm just managing myself, pretty much just scraping by. 😅
Oh yeah, I started opening all the cabinets to make putting dishes away easier. Idk if that's useful to you, lol. ADHD requires quirky solutions, haha.
Sorry this turned out so long! I'm wishing you all the luck! 🙏🤗
#personal#adhd inattentive#adhd in women#undiagnosed adhd#some maybe good advice for anon lol#forgive my longwinded answer 😭
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tier list of social media by how big i could go on them if i was completely cynical about it, 2023 edition (updated)
S tier (i could rule this site): - Reddit (it's so easy to get frontpage if you try for it. building a unidan-style brand would be a little harder but i'd have them wrapped around my finger in 6 months)
A tier (with real effort i could be a medium-big name): - Youtube (accidentally made popular videos when i was 13 that still get views. experience with editing software means production values from the jump. I could get a silver play button within two years of this I am fucking certain. but then i'd burn out pretty quickly.) - Tumblr (i think when i try and make posts to get notes I can usually get them. But it's strictly worse to be popular on tumblr and I think i'd get bullied off the site soon enough)
B tier (could have a self-perpetuating following with effort): - TikTok. (Like youtube, the video experience helps some. but the need to look put-together irl and making it harder to market by driving 3rd party clicks (eg posting to reddit). that said i think i understand and would be willing to use the cynicism needed to get views. unjustified confidence.)
C tier (would flop): - Twitter (I don't understand how to be funny or popular on there. seems insane.)
D tier (would flop. hard): - Instagram (seems like hell. memeposting there feels even more foreign than twitter to me, and lifestyle posting i don't have the capital investment to do. my poi account sits unused) - Facebook (nobody is popular on there it's all advertisers)
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I got off the internet, mostly, and it's been great. Here are some reasons.
Social media companies keep you on their sites by showing addictive content. They sometimes trigger fight or flight. They often trigger social anxiety. They are literally modeled after slot machines (low risk, variable reward) You will constantly crave dopamine, never get enough, feel awful, and never know why.
Staring at the ceiling or reading a book isn't hard anymore. It took about a month, but... if I can't figure out something to do for this very second, I just kind of look around until I figure something out. Sometimes it's boring, that's okay. Being bored just isn't the psychic torture it used to be. It's pretty mundane.
I do all my chores. I used to have to block time out to do this or that. Then force myself to stop what I was doing (which was often using multiple apps and websites as well as watching a movie or playing a game,) to go do something incredibly boring. I don't have to combat that level of inertia anymore. If I'm microwaving or cooking something, I just do a few dishes here or there, or do some sweeping for a couple minutes. It all adds up and my house is cleaner and more organized. What I used to do while my food was cooking was scroll through reels until I could break away to keep cooking.
I consume less, but retain more information. Let's be honest, you've gone by probably 100 posts today. What was the last one about? Okay, what about 10 posts ago? I can read half a book in a day if I want to (don't always want to,) because I can just sit down and read. I'm not constantly fighting the urge to go do something more interesting. And I can make up my mind about whether I like it or not, the plot, character development, etc. My attention span is long enough to read 100 pages in the afternoon, go make tea, and mush it all around in my head while the kettle is boiling. I also don't waste my time watching or reading things I don't like. I used to look at youtube and be like "I have to watch something, what am I going to watch?" Now I go, "Is there anything interesting in my feed?" The question is different, and I've learned that often there is not. I used to watch and watch and watch just to fill time. Now that I don't have to, so much less of it is actually interesting. Reels and TikTok are actually painfully boring. They're huge huge dopamine hits, but about 1 in 50 are actually interesting and even less of them really add much to my life. I used to binge watch them for hours.
I worry less about what other people think. Top comments are always someone arguing. Comment replies on reddit and almost every other platform are arguing. If they're not picking apart a thought you casually came up with on an evening off, they're actively throwing hate at you. You might get adoration too. But none of it is really constructive. It doesn't really help you develop your thoughts or grow as a person. Plus, not everyone is going to like what you do or who you are. Part of growth is not trying to avoid negativity, but understanding where it comes from and whether you think it's a legitimate thing to work on or not. Social media just hurls unconstructive negativity at you 24/7. The amount of times I think about whether someone else would like what I'm doing in the current moment is dialed down from a 10/10 to a 1 or 2. Yes it's okay that you were a jerk to the cashier because you were having a bad day. It's not a good thing. Please learn from it and try to figure out how to not do it in the future, but you're not irredeemable. The internet tends to throw the baby out with the bathwater as far as personalities and people go. It's hard to walk around in life trying to be morally perfect when everyone's opinion of what that is is so drastically different.
In short, I am patient, I don't second guess myself, and I'm happy. It didn't happen immediately and it might not to you, but it was my experience and I am not sure I will be a regular social media user any time soon.
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Are you still into opm? I don’t see you talking about it or writing as much fanfic as you used to
yes
Tumblr banning porn really fucked me up and I'm honestly never going to forgive it. I'm probably also never going to fully recover from losing the outlet it provided, even though this is still my favorite social media site (I know you're supposed to say socmed but that feels like business bro talk and I don't like it ;;;). I don't feel comfortable anywhere that doesn't accept NSFW so I just don't post here. Most of the meta I make is in Discords or on Reddit. I put my art up on Twitter 'cause I can't do it here. I've tried.
Lately for creative shit I've been doing more cosplay and drawn stuff, although the lack of writing is because my confidence was taken out back and shot point-blank with a canon.
I got through Covid by scraping so far down into the barrel of my coping skills and "just believe in yourself" reserves that I'd dug out the bottom and I was eating dry earth that had been basted with the essence of what was left. It's really hard to recover from that. It's even harder when you want to participate in online community shit to help build up a support system that can help hype you up a little when you can't, but the art you'd want to share to do said participation is banned or shadowbanned on every platform, and limiting your growth to honestly embarrassingly small pools that dwindle constantly to the point where the people you KNOW would love to see it can't unless you send it directly to them one-by-one, further discouraging you from trying to use up any extra energy to make anything to participate in that community to help replenish what you lost when you're running on negatives to begin with.
The constant negative self-talk with no strong voices to drown it out doesn't help either. The fact that I'm going to be making probably less than half of what I did last year because I'm freelance in a nonessential field is ALSO making it hard to feel good about anything I'm doing. In general I have a much lower tolerance for doing anything online, but I've been having trouble being around people IRL too, so communication as a whole has been tough.
So. Yeah writing's been hard. Hopefully it'll pass soon.
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Compare and contrast -- Royalty with noblesse oblige and narcissistic grifters by u/ElectricalAd9212
Compare and contrast -- Royalty with noblesse oblige, and narcissistic grifters In the last few days, the royal family have engaged in the following duties:Prince William visited a construction site in London to highlight the alarmingly high rates of suicide amongst men in the building industry in Britain and work out an action plan to address this.the Princes of Wales visited a prison to highlight how prisoners with addictions can be helped to overcome them so that when they return to society they can be rehabilitated and get their lives back on track and become productive citizens with fulfilling lives.Prince William and Catherine attended games at the Rugby World Cup in France to show their support for England and WalesThe Princess Royal convened an investment summit for business and stakeholders to help secure investment and business for Northern IrelandThe Princess Royal also attended to duties in Scotland, visiting farmers and attending the 'world sheepdog trials'The Princess Royal visited an air ambulance charity in CambridgeshireKing Charles has been visiting villages in the Scottish highlands, visiting schools, and opening projects focused on energy efficiency.What stands out most about this list of engagements that have taken place over a few days, is just how hard working Princess Anne is. Remember, she was once 'the spare'. Look at the work she undertakes for the King and country.Compare and contrast this with Markle and Harry, who have spent the last two weeks prepping for their imagined 'break the internet' Invictus games by grubby PR, leaks, set up papparazi pictures, and the sole intent to earn money by merchandising product and clothing to try and set Markle up as a fashion merching pap walking social media star using the Invictus Games and a royal title as a money making commercial scheme whilst stirring the same old hate of the royal family and disrespecting her late Majesty whose death anniversary was this week.Nothing shows more the contrast between the humble, hardworking, selflessly devoted royal family and their noblesse oblige, and the grubby, narcissistic, lowly, dirty money grubbing narcissistic obscenity that is Markle-Harry and all they represent. post link: https://ift.tt/Ts0i6D7 author: ElectricalAd9212 submitted: September 14, 2023 at 12:28PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit
#SaintMeghanMarkle#harry and meghan#meghan markle#prince harry#sussexes#markled#archewell#megxit#duke and duchess of sussex#duchess of sussex#duchess meghan#duke of sussex#harry and meghan smollett#walmart wallis#harkles#megain#spare by prince harry#fucking grifters#archetypes with meghan#meghan and harry#Heart Of Invictus#Invictus Games#finding freedom#doria ragland#WAAAGH#ElectricalAd9212
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I don't get twitter users being like 'tumblr is so difficult to understand I don't get it'
like???
tumblr is trying very hard to be twitter. And it is very similar to the bird site except you can't steal someone's engagement by reblogging/retweeting something AND you aren't limited to characters. You can put the entire script of Bee Movie in one post.
I see a lotta artists on my TL just... making discords for their art and I'm just like... that is the single worst thing you could do to stay relevant. Yeah you'll get SOME of your audience. But with lots of twitter and reddit migrants coming to tumblr it's just making yourself a walled garden.
It also means I am gonna be joining a lot of discords full of nothing but someone's art because I wanna see it and they don't use other social medias???
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Ok, real talk about the whole "Tumblr is trying to get our money" thing:
It's a sentiment I understand, honestly. The moderation is crap (to put it lightly), the site barely functions at times, and they're proposing changes that would fundamentally alter the way the site works. Why would you give them your hard earned money in spite of all that? The fact that they're in the red is a lot harder to care about when you look at tumblr and only see another faceless corporation.
But that last part right there is why it's important to do your homework. "Understand thy enemy" and all that. So, let's start with the basics: why hate corps? Chances are you already know the answer: they will do anything and everything to continue their infinite growth regardless of the damage they might cause in the process. They perpetuate systems of oppression, lobby for laws that benefit them but screw over everyone else, work their employees so hard that they don't have the energy to do something about the situation they're in, etc.
Now that we've got the what out of the way, time to ask another important question: why? Corporations are legal entities fundamentally different from a person in a number of ways, a key difference being that they are run by people one way or another. Usually, one would think of the massive ones run by a small handful of people born into money who use it to acquire more money. They can get in that position because there are systems in place that allow them to buy ownership of participating companies, such as the stock market. Companies that are publicly trading their stock are essentially putting ownership of itself up for sale, and if the Old Money sees enough potential for growth, they'll buy it all up and take total ownership.
That's when they can start doing all the nefarious shit. But, the important takeaway here is that companies which publicly trade their stock are likely susceptible to this exact kind of parasitism. We know that tumblr's parent company is Automattic, best known for being the owners of WordPress. So, what does their stock look like?
Well, I don't know. It isn't publicly traded:
(If you're wondering what an "Automattician" is, it's essentially a fancy word for their employees)
And this is a very important detail. It fundamentally sets Automattic apart from from companies like Reddit and Meta which are publicly traded, as it's owned by its employees. So, instead of some old white cishet men, it's owned by the ~2,000 people across the world who actually run it.
This leads me to an important conclusion: tumblr's push for monetization is a genuine effort to keep the lights on. Now, if Automattic were to start being publicly traded, or tumblr were to change hands again, then there would be real cause for concern over harmful, profit-driven changes. But as it is now, it seems to me they're trying to compromise what they want it to be with the financial and legal reality of running a social media site and the finances are getting starved, hence the merchandise, the paid features, and the paywalled gimmicks.
TL;DR If you want this site to change for the and you have the means to, throw some money their way. If enough people do it, they'll be able to not worry about keeping their head above water long enough to make better changes.
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I think what people really mean by Twitter being 2015!Tumblr is that the age demographic of Tumblr has changed (based on polls, I think the age group with the biggest user size is early-mid twenties), a lot of shitstirrers left for Twitter in the Purge of 2018, a lot of guys who used Tumblr for p*rn also left in 2018 (seriously, when I interacted with a guy at uni once who wanted in my pants I mentioned Tumblr because I am socially inept and he was like, oh the website for p*rn? *smirk* and I was like no I use it for my Reylos... he was wearing a Star Wars t-shirt, it's a long story) and obviously in general anybody else who used it for that reason also left, but you know exactly what sort of demographic I'm talking about - far be it from me to unturn that stone, I understand it's a mixed issue - and then overall you've got the fact that Tumblr is slightly better than it was, but it's not perfect.
I do think platform culture influences the way people interact with each other, and there are definitely ways you can fit somebody's interaction patterns into a typology - but the style of detraction you might see in Reddit comments is exactly the stuff you see on Twitter and it is the thing you encounter on Tumblr. Because Tumblr allows you to run your own personal blog, though, you have much more control over your interaction style. If Reddit is a free debate space, Tumblr is curated by comparison.
But it's also just a human nature thing lol. There are plenty of teenagers who have growing up to do on here (I was one of them) and you see a lot more on platforms popular with teenagers (Tik Tok, Twitter, Instagram) which changes the site culture. But I also think that teenagers need their own space to be edgy and get the angst out of the way. It's just much harder to do that when the platforms they're on also encourage putting your face, name, where you live etc. on it.
I find it a fascinating question because I don't think the Internet is wholly iredeemable and clearly we get some joy out of it - the things which concern me about the Internet have parts to do with social media and some not. I want to know what it is that makes Tumblr a pleasant site to use for hobbyist purposes. I can write longform posts, and consider topics which interest me, and curate my experience - by in large the the site has a slightly more mature userbase...
I also had on my mind recently how hard it is to write posts where you have people coming to you with the worst interpretation of what you've said. I think I am starting to accept again that I can't control that and people will read into what I'm saying because that's what they're looking for. That's something which still happens on Tumblr. It's a product of the Internet medium where it's very hard to clarify something you've said the way you could mid-conversation, and the fact that generally people are quite defensive. It feels like a combative space at times.
The real point I'm sort of trying to make is that like, part of what makes Tumblr a good platform is a consequence of its medium - it's a microblogging website - and part of it is a consequence of the userbase evolving. But I also think that loyal userbase is a consequence of what it offers in contrast to what others don't. Equally, issues with Tumblr aren't necessarily specific to platform, and I'd go so far as to venture that to be true of other social media websites. It's just very apparent that there are very bad decisions being made with them killing all user goodwill and reason to use them, but the myopic eye of short-term gains does not care for long-term growth and stability. It's a pretty sobering realisation to know that most of those guys up there think you're as dumb as a rock and will just take what you get. It's not some big conspiracy. They just think their site users are dumb. It's a pretty haunting and narrow view of humanity lol. There is no honour in it and yeah, it is actually nonsensical even from the view of a capitalist philosophy, because why would you willingly kill something with great brand and cultural foothold? Why would you abandon something that makes the platform what it is? This goes for Tumblr with its changes to the dashboard from Following (seeing things your followers post) to For You (algorithm).
#I censored the word p*rn because of Tumblr search#sorry about that#stirring the pot#I'm sorry I just find this stuff interesting because so much of it is actually very new#but I also find it interesting where it mimics IRL social dynamics and/or supplements it#I'm thinking of Heraclitus leaving fragments of his philosophy in the temples#where he intentionally wrote it so that it would be opaque except to men who practised philosophy#that's why his aphorisms are the way they are#afaik. don't quote me as a professional source. this is from a few years back lol
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I found the social media inquisition, thank all that is that the find in page function exists to save me the pain of endless scrolling. It's even stupider than I thought it would be.
Up front, I admit wholly that I am not being charitable in my uncensored commentary on this interaction. I acknowledge that I had and have information none of you did or do. I acknowledge that I am being unfairly harsh in many ways.
All of that being said, in what possible reality, I beg of you, does this make sense:
(I assume this to be the inciting post):
Back to doing nothing since anything I could possibly do is going to be wrong anyway. Sure, it wouldn’t matter if I had any contact with anyone I liked. I don’t.
So I get this in response:
Try Facebook With how that works, I would have literally no one to add. Shit suggestion. Don’t try again.
I admit, I could not say what I wanted to at the time, and yet. Why would the Foundation say "ah, yes, well, you have no pre-established presence on Facebook that is tied to your behind-the-veil activities, of course we'll let you loose on there, this will go well for us."
Trying again! :D! Tinder. Or Bumble. Or hell, even Grindr. No. I don’t want anything those can offer.
While I was presumed to be broken up for months at this time, I was clearly not on the prowl for a new partner or one night stand or whatever people find on there. I was also in Foundation custody, you think they'd let me go on random dates with civilians? Hell, even with other folks in the anomalous world? Not sure which is less likely. Do you think that either I or the Foundation would want to potentially endanger some random like that? Also, again, I was clearly uninterested in romance or sex at that time.
I'm not sure if this was the same one or someone else, but it's in here as it's relevant to the next one.
You're sad and lonely, aren't you? Like a sad, weird cat. Or perhaps a worm. I lost everyone I liked. This isn’t news.
I don't know what the intended effect of this was meant to be, because I cannot fathom being in the war criminal dungeon would ever be a particularly social situation. This next one, though, actually pisses me off.
Then find more people to like. It doesn't have to be that complicated. Hard to do when I have people holding me to prove a point and idiots who don’t know how to engage with me and nothing else to choose from.
How dare you come into my face and act like I'm the one in the wrong for the crime of, what? Not deciding to slide up to a guard when they walk past and try to make small talk? They have rounds to complete and little time for idle chatter, least of all with "defectionist scum" as many of you called me, and even if they did, there'd be ethical issues with a guard befriending their charge in any meaningful way.
That's not getting into how picky I am on that front.
Or was I supposed to vie for the Council's friendship and approval? I have no control over who contacts me on here, and had no control over who contacted me in there for damn sure.
I may have misspoken slightly when claiming I had no enjoyment at all of absolutely anyone there; Three was okay, Four could have been nice if it wouldn't have hurt him, maybe South or Calypso would have been nice to me, but they weren't among my visitors for one reason or another.
Still, this is the single most moronic suggestion I have ever received in my life, and you had the absolute audacity to frame it as me being difficult for no fucking reason? Die.
Then more suggestions for websites.
Twitter. Reddit. Still wouldn’t know how to talk to me. Stop.
Once again, I would not have been allowed, but I couldn't say that, but also, what could Reddit possibly have to offer me in any situation? I don't know much about it, but from the stories, it sounds like I'd just wither and die if I went on there.
And then this closer is astoundingly tone-deaf.
You are actively on a social media site. Socialize. I tried and got burned too many times, by your ilk, mainly. No point.
Socialize with who, exactly? I was not well received, over all, my keepers were very, very picky about who I was allowed to contact and I only managed to duck around it twice. I got caught once and reprimanded, they let the other one slide for reasons I don't want to guess at.
They hated me contacting other Overseers, they absolutely would have come down with fury if I tried to get to any GOI, in our reality or otherwise, a second time.
I was literally barely allowed to actively reach out to anyone directly.
I understand that a lot of this was never said, or only said maybe once and forgotten about, but it's still incredibly frustrating to receive an order from someone I do not and did not answer to, treating me as lesser for being restricted by rules I could not break. Well, I could, but as much as death does not frighten me, I'm not going to throw myself onto the chopping block for that.
Lesser for feeling defeated and beaten down after six and a half god damned months of this shit, and wanting to just give up on interactions that were only hurting me. Lesser for trying to put up some resistance to their fucked up game.
I hate you. I hate you so god damn much, whoever you were. I shouldn't, it's not fair, you were doing the best you could with the information you had, at the time, but I can't help it.
Anyway, 10 minutes later I changed the topic to potato seeds, so it ended there. I don't know how I had the presence of mind to do that, but it's fine.
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